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UPDATE ON US STUDENT-SPY-JOURNALIST-RAPPERS
Three Americans who over a year before had claimed to be journalists in Iraq (before straying into Iran illegally just after filming a tongue-in-cheek rap video have decided to go "Gangsta Rap" after spending slow time in on of Iran's notorious prisons. While there, they apparently struck a deal with the manager of former folk rock legend Cat Stevens and will begin a mosque tour sponsored by Campus Crusade for Allah during Ramadan of 2013- approximately a year after the Mayan calendar suggests the world will no longer exist.
Some radical Christian-backed political groups still argue that they were abducted by Iranian's border patrol inside Iraqi territory and then brain-washed, while some eccentric Christian cult-group followers are claiming they were abducted by either Muslim-aliens pretending to be Christian-aliens, or aliens pretending to be Shia Muslims dressed in Iranian border patrol uniforms.
Roadside bombings in the region have greatly increased convictions that an international conspiracy has been created to thwart people's attempt to find the ancient church which they believe holds the key to many unsolved historical mysteries.
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Special Thanks To SneakySihks for The Following Cable:
WILD TURKS FLY FAR SOUTH FOR THE WINTER!
Highly-trained computer technicians and hackers working for Iran in an attempt to prevent more American Christians from seeping into Iraq- began mounting a cyber-terrorism campaign which involved developing a virus which could weave its way from and pedia search engines into NSA, DIA, DOD, and CIA computers- in a bid to confuse people regarding the location of Iraq's Kurdistan region with the US state of Kentucky.
The project is rumored to have succeeded in making several Turkish fighter planes fly very far off course. While Pentagon denies there is any truth to the claim, alternative news sources now claim that the Turkish Air Force- while targeting a KPP-terrorist encampment they thought was in northern Kurdistan- actually bombed a KFC outlet in Louisville, Kentucky.
Another Turkish plane was supposedly forced to crash land in a Wall-Mart parking lot just outside of Palestine, Texas, as yet another attempted to land on a ranch in Medina, Texas.
The rumored results of this campaign have had Iran's shadow diplomat to Iraq-Brig. General Sulaimani- promising to fund an additional project such as the switching out of cell phones to Iraqi officials with ones containing spy-ware. A more ambitious project will possibly involve the importation of CD compilations of Cat Stevens Greatest Hits of the 70s containing subliminal messages such as- Tea for the Taliban.
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